this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
send nudes
from the living room?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
