Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
