I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
