Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
