Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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