I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
