I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
