Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
