It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
