She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
