I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
