How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
