There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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