somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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