oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize