just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
