I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
