fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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