so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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