You just made me feel so damn special
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize