You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
