you guys were way drunker than both of me
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
