You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
