can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
