do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
