so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
