fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We got so high we made milksteak
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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