She is in my trunk
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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