Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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