Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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