Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
