seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
