Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
