Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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