Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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