yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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