I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
