Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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