I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
