I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
