there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize