We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
