If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
