1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
