Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
