I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i think i have two assholes
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
