U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
