And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
