it was like his penis was on wheels.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
