It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Randomize
