youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
