guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
