Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He did a backflip because drugs
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