Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
