This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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