But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Randomize
