so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
