i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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