I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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