If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I cut my penus on the lid.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
