Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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