I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Randomize
